Star Wars Prequel Trilogy | Weekly Recap 6

Hello there! This is Ash, and you’re reading Weekly Recap, episode 6! Our first entry is the anime miniseries Afro Samurai. It stars Samuel L Jackson – who has to be among our favourite actors – but sadly not even he could save us from being bored out of our minds. Now, just to get this out of the way, the animation is utterly fantastic – a truly beautiful style in all its mesmerising carnage. But that is pretty much the only saving grace, as the writing itself is just awful. Really bad dialogue that just makes the bits in between the great fights painful to sit through.

Afro Samurai: https://boxd.it/1BddBV ⭐⭐

And yet it doesn’t even compare to our next film. The 2001 remake of Planet of the Apes is a remarkable abomination that could only ever be created by the hands of a master. Forget Battle for the Planet of the Apes, this is hands down the worst film we’ve ever seen purely because it trips over the cliff edge on every decision made. The prologue is genuinely great, as it really made us excited to see the fresh take on the concept that Tim Burton had in store for us. But then he decides to tear up any degree of respectability and simply devolves into pantomime, with apes that have fused human and animal mannerisms to an obnoxious degree, humans that can inexplicably talk – which means the entire premise is inherently undermined – and a really cliche, Hollywood plot that literally makes no sense. I’m sure you’re all sick of reading about this franchise just as much as I am of watching them, but we only have 3 more films to get through. Still, I think we deserve a break for now. 

Planet of the Apes (Remake): https://boxd.it/1Bny7R ⭐

You’d think that after something so bad we would watch something that we knew we would adore (like we usually do). But instead we decided to press the “Play Something Random” button on Netflix… which landed us with Outside the Wire. From the get go it did not fail to disappoint in making us hate it, with a protagonist that has no redeeming qualities and an overabundance of exposition that made our eyes roll at how lazy it was. Now, normally we would have turned off something so bad, but we simply didn’t have the energy this time, so we instead just lay there taking in the mindless action and boring plot, laughing at the deaths but not really bothering to care one bit. The fights with Anthony Mackie I suppose are well done and exhibit a basic level of creativity that was sorely missing from the plot, but as a whole this was a very bad film. 

Outside the Wire: https://boxd.it/1BwgmH ⭐

This next film might look like a masterpiece after such disappointment, but once again I had to be overly critical of something that on a surface level is simply fine. Sputnik is one of those films that starts off promising, but slowly rolls down the hill until the wheels take on a life of their own and there’s nothing one can do to stop the inevitably very nasty crash. A Russian version of Alien that is actually more like a sequel to the rip-off Life merged with Venom, this mediocre but vaguely entertaining plot soon becomes boring and trite, with an embarrassing ending that offends our natural love for twists. Again, this film is ok in a way that the others at the beginning of the week simply aren’t, but the decline in quality over the grueling 2 hours does make it a bad experience. 

Sputnik: https://boxd.it/1BxBZR ⭐⭐

It seems we’ve been dipping our toes into a variety of genres this week, but all of them have simply been too cold to go in further. If anime, sci-fi, war and thriller didn’t do it for us, perhaps something more artsy will do the trick. The answer is: vaguely. From an objective point of view, Fitzcarraldo is definitely the best film we’ve watched this week. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop us from being bored once again. We’ve already watched Aguirre, so we are somewhat familiar now with Werner Herzog’s style of filmmaking, but this second excursion down the Amazon still isn’t engaging. We certainly enjoyed Klaus Kinski’s performance much more in this, as his character feels far more complex, with an actual goal to semi-hook us. And while there are a lot of great shots and impressive feats performed, the majority of the film looked rather ugly to us. We especially got exasperated at the endless longshots with the ship dragging along the plot at a snail’s pace, a dreary experience that isn’t even saved by the lovely opera. I can understand why a lot of people glean value from these kinds of films, but we’re hesitant to continue watching our Herzog collection. 

Fitzcarraldo: https://boxd.it/1BMZc5 ⭐⭐⭐

Ok, with so many disappointments this week, I’m sure that when you hear we watched the Star Wars prequel trilogy next that you definitely think we’ll be plagued with even more groans. How wrong you’d be, for we absolutely adore this trilogy! Now, we’re not saying they’re perfect films, far from it, as a fair amount of the criticism levelled against these films is justified. But for every jarring Jar Jar scene, hammy performance and cringe-inducing dialogue, there is a plethora of beauty to be found in the cinematography, mise-en-scene, special effects and music, with an equal amount of joyous mayhem as clankers are slaughtered, Jedi are murdered, and the Republic comes crumbling down to the glorious cackling of McDiarmid’s gorgeous performance. We glean a lot of value from all 3 films: from the whimsical charm of The Phantom Menace set against the backdrop of fascinating political disputes as the Sith make their dramatic return; to the many mysteries of Attack of the Clones that unfold into a galactic conspiracy played in parallel to Anakin and Padme’s Shakespearean love story; to the tragic war of Revenge of the Sith that brings out the best and worst in everyone, tainting the purity of the Jedi, twisting the minds of heroes to betray their own brothers, and unravelling the very structure of society that mirrors our own, making way for grandiose allegories that we’ll definitely have to write a seperate essay on. This trilogy is a real tour de force of operatic grandeur, and though it can become a little too self-indulgent in its bombastic writing, the drama is wonderfully epic in its raw, emotional power. Quite simply, every awesome technical feat and riskily ambitious concept interwoven into the fabric of this adorably corny fantasy is one of the most incredible things cinema has ever created. 

Star Wars - Prequel Trilogy
The Phantom Menace: https://boxd.it/1BFyoT ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Attack of the Clones: https://boxd.it/1BWORB ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Revenge of the Sith: https://boxd.it/1C6EDp ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

So, what did you think of our ratings? Do you also believe the Prequels are unjustly hated? Let us know down in the comments, and subsribe so as to not miss out on more weekly recaps (and even an essay that’s currently in the works).